As 2013 is coming to a close I can’t help but look back at God’s faithfulness. The beginning of 2013 was extremely difficult for me. My mom had just gone through another separation with my step dad but this time around we ended up loosing everything! I was completely tired. I was done striving to survive and holding on to my faith. I was tired of struggling. For years I felt like my mom and I were going through this vicious cycle of trying to live through our circumstances instead of actually living. I emotionally and physically could not take another trial and if I’m honest with myself I doubted the promises that God had for me.
By the grace of God, after missing close to two weeks of school due to my circumstances I was still able to graduate high school. A few weeks before going to LSU I was literally crying out to God in the closet of my room! For hours upon hours I was crying and praying to God about everything. I guess for a long time I had years of things that I held onto that I pretended I didn’t care about and things I was to afraid and angry to talk to God about. In that closet everything came out!! I told him about my frustrations, I told him about how I didn’t understand how any of the things my mom and I went through was for a purpose, and then out of my desperation I began to pray. I prayed about my out of state fee bill, I prayed that the chains and vicious cycles that have kept me and my family in bondage would be broken, I prayed that God would heal my heart and bless the time that I have at LSU, and I prayed that I would have incredible intimacy with Jesus.
Now more than anytime in my life do I believe in the power of prayer!! From the moment I walked on LSU’s campus he has directed my steps. The first week of school he blessed me with Antioch Community Church. Never in my life have I ever been apart of a church that is so focused around community! I can not even begin to describe the love that I have for the people in this church. They are so committed to living out how God intended the church to be and actually doing life with each other daily. He blessed me with my best friends. Luckily I came to school with Bayli so things weren’t nearly as hard, but by the grace of God I met Maddie, Megan and Gabe. With Bayli, Megan and Maddie God ordained our friendship. We are all so completely different!! but at the same time our pasts and our love for Jesus is what brought us together. Those incredible, earth shattering, Jesus encounters that we had in cars and on street corners have forever marked us.They have paved the way for our families, friends, and generations to come. They have made us soul sisters!!! With Gabe that must have been a God thing lol!!! If someone told me that we would be best friends I probably would have laughed. But God has a funny way of doing things! I am so honored by his friendship. He has spoken more truth into my life than he realizes and I’ve probably given him more crap than credit lol!! But for real though what a mighty man of God and I’m so happy that he’s my brother in Christ.
More than anything else God has blessed me with healing and transformation! Man I did not realize how broken I was until I got to college!! I mean it was literally like I was walking around with all of my battle wounds left out in the open bleeding to death, but instead of tending to my wounds I kept on pushing through, I kept on fighting because I’m a fighter, I’m a warrior!! I knew I was changing but I know things shifted when I went to Blake’s house. Blake, who is the college pastor of Antioch Community Church Baton Rouge, has an incredible wife named Lena who I was so fortunate enough to talk to with Maddie, Megan and Bayli. Going in I was excited to talk to Lena but I judged her hardcore!!! Judging and making assumptions about people is one of my big character flaws but hey! Jesus is working on me I’m still in the process and I’m enjoying the process! Anyway I didn’t expect to get anything other than the things I thought I knew about Jesus. But as soon as she opened her mouth and was telling her testimony my mind was blown and all my assumptions were gone. On top of that when she started talking about Restitution!!! At that point I was gone!! Lol!! But seriously that’s the first promise I ever clinged to and believed in.
Isaiah 61 has rocked my world and has breathed life into me. It will forever be my life verse. I will always be in the process of restitution! If I go on about all the things God has done over this semester I would be typing all day. All I can say is that God is sooooooo good. His loving kindness for me is overwhelming and I am so undeserving of his faithfulness. I am going into 2014 knowing and believing so much of the promises that he has for me. Trusting that he is taking care of me, healing me and meeting all of my needs. And believing without a shadow of doubt that I will fulfill everything he has called me to do.