I can’t really explain what’s going on other than I am truly being tested to surrender everything to Jesus!! I made the decision not to go back to LSU this semester. It was hard and it is still so hard. I made this choice because I knew my mom couldn’t afford to send me to school paying $30,000 out of pocket. I know I made the right choice and I know I’m walking in God’s wisdom but this choice hasn’t been easy. I have peace about this decision and I can already see the blessings of my decision come to past. But I have to admit I have days. Days that I have moments of sadness and doubts about my future. Today has definitely been one of those days. It didn’t start out that way but slowly the enemy started to seep doubts into my mind about God’s faithfulness.
The truth of the matter is I want to be in college so bad. I don’t want to go to community college. I am a natural born planner!! I’ve always have been and I always will be. By the time I was in 7th grade I already had a plan about college. My dream was to go to a school I loved, be there for all four years, meet a nice guy who loved Jesus, graduate, and get married!!! LOL!! I never thought I would be home after going to school for just one semester, applying to community college, and hoping to transfer to a Texas school. So in my thoughts today I found myself thinking and just asking God do you care about my plans? Do you care about my dreams? Are you really there for me because this is not what I want for my life?
In the midst of those thoughts God spoke to me and said “I will never leave you” “I will never forsake you” and he reminded me of the goodness he has shown me. In the last months of 2013 God led me to so many promises that he had for me in his word. Isaiah 61 “The Year of The Lord’s Favor” was the first promise. Things shifted permanently in my life because of this chapter. He gave me the promise of “Restitution and “Double Portion” in this chapter. Isaiah 54 “The Future Glory of Zion” was the promise of my security and the value that God has placed inside of me. Isaiah 55 “Invitation to the Thirsty” was my promise of destiny and purpose and Psalm 27:13-14 was my promise of God’s goodness towards me. Out of all the promises those are the ones I cling too.
The very last day of the year I was in a New Year’s Eve service praying and worshipping God with all of my heart. As I prayed into the New Year the very last promise God gave me in 2013 was “It is Over It is Finished It is Done.” The terrible cycles that have kept me and my family in bondage for so long was over FOREVER!!! No more tears No more pain!! Financial struggles will turn to financial stability and broken relationships would finally be restored. My life and my destiny was set in stone with Jesus already giving me the victory and I have all the power and authority over the enemy!!!!!
God never lies. His words and promises for us are always true and NEVER return void!!!! The same promises that he had for me at the end of 2013 are same promises he has for me now!! Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Everything happens for a reason. I don’t know whats going to happen in the future and I’m not sure why things didn’t turn out how I wanted it. But praise Jesus that his ways are better than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts!! I know God is strategically directing my steps!!! He is leading me down the right path, to the right people, at the right place, at the right time. He will never lead me astray and he will never lead YOU astray!!! Have security in that. Have security in him.